My Life on the Net

Sheesh, if I expected this much contraversy I would have asked for an interview with BBC News.  So, I thought I’d start September with a little extra for you to understand why I’m doing this thing.

Firstly, just because it’s called ‘the big shave’ doesn’t mean I’m getting out the shaving oil and placing a blade to my scalp. It’s going to be something akin to a buzz cut, but it will be nonetheless what I need, mentally, to get myself out of this rut.

I respect many cultures and their practices, especially what such religious acts mean for themselves or their family.  I, as an agnostic, don’t exactly beleive that any of this matters – but it does to the person who is doing the act.  Some Eastern cultures, like i’ve talked about before, sacrifice something in the hope of change.  That’s exactly what I’m going through tonight.

Sure I’m nervous about it. Sure I’ve got second thoughts, but there’s meaning and a drive behind it.  My first video when I talked about it may have been just a spur-of-the-moment thing, but I haven’t spent the time up to this just thinking of doing it for the hell of it.  I researched it, wondered why others did it to and there was always a significant meaning behind an act.

My mother has been in an out of hospital for more than half of this year.  It’s scary, and there’s been times I’ve been literally in tears when something has happened. I’ve been angry, I’ve been worried, and most of all I’ve been wanting it to change.  When my mum was having problems with some aspects of her personality I started growing a beard, telling myself that I’d shave it off when my mother came back.  My mother is still in hospital, and while I haven’t told you one percent of the stories that have happened concerning her (because they’re just TOO shocking to tell) it doesn’t mean the symbolism of my actions should be disapproved.

In thirteen days there is a change that will affect not only myself, but the rest of my family.  It’s the time where all of my mother’s children are moving out of the city.  Already my mum is taking it a little to the heart, and it’s scary to realise that this could be such a heart-felt problem for her, when she’s already lost so many connections.  I wanted to symbolise this and sacrifice something to show what it meant to me.

Some may ask why I want to make this a fundraiser for Cancer Research UK as well.  Too many people in my family have had problems with Cancer, and while my mother isn’t one of them my family has had major changes due to this. My dear Uncle Alan died from Cancer just last year, my Aunt has had to have life changing surgery and my mother has had preventive measures taken.  Half of the reason my mother is in hospital today is because of this, not because she has had it herself but because of how it has affected the family.

Now, I’d talk to you more about it but while I’m someone who normally contains his emotions in tightly sealed boxes I’m finding it hard to stop them rushing to the surface.  I just hope you can understand that I’m not just doing this because I’ve got nothing better to do - there’s true reason behind it, and all I need is a little bit of support though this dark time.

This entry was posted on Monday, September 1st, 2008 at 6:17 pm and is filed under General, Life, Ramblings. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.