Monday, September 7th, 2009
I felt I wouldn’t let my social anxiety get the better of me and I have tried my best to create new relationships with my flatmates. While it’s all been going swimmingly I had one little problem faced due to THE GROUP OF PEOPLE I DO NOT KNOW.
This situation causes chills down my spine and I find myself detaching myself. I can’t help it. It’s a defence mechanism that not even a double vodka and coke can solve. And trust me, I tried.
I have been making leaps. I’ve been trying my best to create new connections and I think I’ve been succeeding. I’ve been trying new experiences and even got myself out to Mono, the local university’s union nightclub–which is nothing without Corinne. But on this high of doing so well I got myself a ticket to a local nightclub with one of my new flatmates. I did not enjoy this experience.
As soon as I got in there was somebody he recognised. And then another. And then another. Soon enough the table was full of people whom I had very little to do with and I felt I had no true way of communicating with them. Those 15 minutes, which was all I could bear, made me think I was an invisible man–trying to get someone’s attention by waving my arms.
So I made an excuse. Nothing could stop me getting out of that place, and I wasn’t going to just jump back into there.
I’m not going to let it be the death of any social aspects of my life. It’s just a lesson that I can’t take things too fast otherwise I’ll fall.
If I’d been there I would have sat on your lap and forced you to stay…I would be loud and obnoxious and I’d make everyone notice you.
I think the first step that a person should take when trying to become “more social” Like you are would probably be to…um…
remember that no one will judge you on their first impression of you. They will give you a ten and it is you who has to work your way down to a zero.
I’m SO PROUD OF YOU for hitting the nightclub scene!..but I’m kind of jealous because nightclubs mean dancing…and the dancing is often dirty and sweaty and I can totally imagine you walking into a club and having 50 girls jump all over you because you’re hot.
I know how it feels to not know anyone in a crowd…It is often good to find one new person and try to focus on developing a conversation with that one person…so then you’d be 1 person down with 14 to go. If the conversation doesn’t go smoothly make up an excuse to move onto someone else like…”I don’t want to be rude or anything but I don’t really know anyone around here and I’d like to peruse the other party…it was nice talking to you…(then you walk away).
Try it! It works!
Well done you for doing so well!
To be honest, I think a *lot* of people would feel the same as you did in the 2nd nightclub. I’ve felt like that myself at times too, so that part is maybe more normal than you think?
Here’s to new friends and a new year at uni
here! here! @Marylin
I feel like I am dropping in on an emotional event, and I am a stranger. So, apologies if my remarks don’t hit the mark. Sounds like a mixed up situation. I don’t know who you are, nor do I know Corrine But if the Corrine who commented is the Corrine you mention, The one who would have sat on your lap and made you stay, and yet was a no-show? I say what Walt Whitman said more than a century ago. “Though you loved her as your self, a self of purer clay, though her parting rues the day, stealing grace from all alive…heartily know, when half gods go, the gods arrive.” Take another step up the ladder.
the reason I (Corinne, Craig’s Girlfriend) was unable to attend this nightclub outing Good Mr. Dan, is because I am currently in a different country. I would love to *not* be a *no-show* at social events that Craig has but It is physically impossible at this time with my lack of money for travel.
I don’t quite understand your quote’s meaning…but I think I will look it up and try to find the meaning to understand what you are trying to say.
I understand that the comment was for Craig but I think it pertains to me more than I’d like it to.
My apologies, Corinne. Dan
Sorry, I realize I walked into something I knew little about. I’m sure the Whitman quote says more about my life than yours or Craig’s. Dan
Dude no problem…what does the quote mean to you though Dan?